when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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