You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
