im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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