That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
