I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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