Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
this hospital has no fireball
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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