Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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