I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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