drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
