We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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