End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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