Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
