I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
