Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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