This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
