i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
