Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think I sprained my soul last night
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
