Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize