He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
