Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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