Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
