just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
