I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
