He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
