Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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