You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
