So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
