My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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