His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
