sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize