To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
