Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
