This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
