we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
