I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
time to smoke my breakfast
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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