First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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