life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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