So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He did a backflip because drugs
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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