I am in a vortex of obligation.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize