Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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