So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize