I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
