i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
