3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
