Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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