you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
