If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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