He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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