i would punch a child for taco bell
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So many bounce houses so little time
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
