I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
