THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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