we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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