I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
