She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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