Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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