I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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