Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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