its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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